A future lampooned…


This piece has been inspired by some of my comrades from the Socialist Meme Caucus:


They recently suggested to “Make a prediction on the development of one social phenomenon or another, see if it comes to pass. See if you’re a real Jedi of the Proletariat. May the Dialectic be with you.”

I wrote a serious prediction but here is my vision of a future lampooned…

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental 😉
The EDL will rise in popularity this Christmas with their new flagship facebook campaign to get Irving Berlin’s White Christmas to the top of the charts. Nigel Farage reveals that he is a terminator sent back from the year 3000 to ensure that UKIP forms a coalition with the Conservatives who oust Cameron and replace him with General Boris Johnson. General Johnson, as he soon becomes known, leads the Thatcher youth into a new age of the Fourth Reich. He writes up an overwhelmingly popular policy to fill the Olympic Stadium in London with blancmange but quickly reveals his true intentions when he privatises air. He then closes all borders to immigration by blasting out Justin Bieber at every airport/port/beach and blocks up the Euro Tunnel with blonde, blue-eyed migrant workers.

George Galloway leads a left-wing rebellion when he discovers a hidden cache of muslamic rayguns. Ed “the revolutionary red” Miliband joins forces with him after a complicated spine transplant procedure performed in the People’s Hospital, set up in the basement of all SWP members’ houses when they deem real hospitals to be too petit-bourgeois. 

Jesus arrives back on the scene which causes mass celebrations in the United States of Westboro Baptist Church God Hates Fags America until Jesus states in a public address to the world that he fully backs Kim Jong Un and the true believers of North Korea. World War 3 quickly breaks out but all nations quickly surrender when Kim Jong Un reveals his latest secret hi-tech weapon- the Repetitive Overarm Concussive Killers codename R.O.C.K.s.

The scientology program is given global backing and soon everyone on planet Earth is packed into North Korea’s Warp Drive capable Super Cruiser in search of paradise. This however, proves unfruitful when the Super Cruiser doesn’t quite have the power needed to escape the Earth’s atmosphere and ends up at the bottom of the ocean with no survivors, just off the coast of South Korea.

The End.

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